Mind Your Own Business
by Awesomenesss-sama
Summary: Papyrus was never one to complain when he saw his brother happy, but this was just getting weird. So, Papyrus did the one thing any normal concerned sibling would do; stalk him. Results may vary.
1. Chapter 1

Papyrus frowned as he watched his brother happily bounce into the house.

Sans had been acting oddly for a full three weeks now; eagerly going to do the sentry job Papyrus had assigned him and coming home with a larger-than-average grin. Today Sans seemed especially cheerful, and Papyrus wanted to know why.

"Hey Pap" Sans greeted as he hopped by, "I'm gonna go take a nap before I go to my next job, kay?"

"Papyrus eyed his brother suspiciously, Sans didn't notice. Yep. Something was up.

The next day, Papyrus went to wake Sans as per usual, only to find that he'd already left.

"What's going on?" Papyrus mused as he speed walked to the gate, "Why would that lazybones ever wake up early of his own accord?"

As he neared his destination, Papyrus heard his brother's voice getting louder and louder; Sans was talking to himself.

"A perfect opportunity" Papyrus grinned, jumping to hide in a close by bush.

"Okay, okay, okay" Sans said to himself, pacing pacing back and forward, "so it could have been a joke like any other, or it could have actually been...eeeeeeh."

Papyrus was facing Sans' back, but he noticed a light blue glow around Sans' face signifying that he was blushing. What made Sans like this?

"But whatever the case" Sans hurriedly continued, shaking his head in an attempt to get rid of his blush, "just act natural, you'll be fine."

Papyrus wasn't sure what the motivational speech was about, but it was pretty obvious that his brother was nervous about something.

Papyrus was about to stand and see what Sans was worried about, but a light tapping on the door interrupted him before he could move.

"Knock knock" a woman called.

Papyrus watched as Sans jumped slightly at hearing her voice before blushing, then shaking his head to remove the blush again and leaning against the door, attempting to be confident, "who's there?"

"Adore" the woman replied.

"Adore who?" now that Papyrus could see Sans' face, he could see that his brother was grinning.

"Adore is between us, open it up!" the woman giggled.

Oh no.

"Knock knock" it was Sans who asked this time.

"Who's there?"

"Doris."

"Doris who?"

"Doris locked, that's why I'm knocking" Sans grinned, "come on Tori, you know I should be dooring the door ones. You're not the one who's trying to open it."

Papyrus wanted to die. He had to listen to them share jokes. And there was no escape otherwise Sans would notice him.

"It's not like you to make rules" the woman Papyrus now knew as Tori teased.

"It's not like you to flirt with me" Sans shot back with a blush, Papyrus' jaw dropped.

"Well, I guess everyone's been acting differently lately" Tori giggled.

"Definitely not complaining" Sans chuckled as his blush glowed.

"Neither am I" Tori replied, "are you a banana?"

"Why do you ask?" Sans wondered.

"Because I find you a-peeling."

"Okay, okay, I've got one, guess what my favorite part of a game is" Sans grinned.

"Uh...the boss battle?" Tori attempted.

"Nope. The tu _toriel_."

Papyrus then realized that 'Tori' might just be a nickname, and he guessed that 'Toriel' was her full name.

Toriel giggled, "well, you know how I've always wanted to be a teacher?"

"Yeah?" Sans nodded.

"Well, teachers have this certain font that they know their students hate. Personally it's my favorite" Toriel continued.

"Which font is it?"

"Comic _Sans_ " Toriel giggled.

Papyrus felt himself dying inside. Sure Sans and his mysterious girlfriend were cute, but Papyrus didn't want to deal with any more of their terrible puns.

"Huh?" Sans blinked.

"What was that?" Toriel asked, "is someone else there with you?"

"No" Sans frowned.

Apparently Papyrus wasn't dying inside as much as he was groaning. Loudly.

Sans walked up to the bush where Papyrus was hidden and instantly recognized his brother.

"Papyrus?" Sans blinked.

"Papyrus?" Toriel repeated, "wait, you mean your brother?"

"The one and only" Sans replied.

"As much as I'm honored to know that you told your girlfriend about me-" Papyrus found himself cut off.

"Girlfriend?!" Sans let out an embarrassed squeak and glowed blue.

"O-oh, no, I'm not his girlfriend" Toriel denied.

"You're not?" Papyrus blinked.

"Not yet" Sans mumbled, forgetting that Papyrus was close enough to hear.

"What? What's so funny?" Toriel questioned when she heard Papyrus snickering.

"H-he said-" Papyrus was about to quote his older brother's words, but Sans tackled him. Sans' reaction only made Papyrus laugh harder.

"What? What is it?!" Toriel was obviously feeling left out of the loop.

Papyrus wrestled with Sans a little before continuing, "When you said you weren't his girlfriend, Sans-"

"SAID NOTHING!" Sans yelled over his brother.

There was a loud creak and suddenly, the gate opened outwards, making the brothers freeze in surprise.

"T-Tori?" Sans' jaw dropped, watching as a tall figure exited the gate.

"Yes?" Toriel's familiar voice replied.

Sans didn't know what he imagined her to look like, but now he couldn't see her looking any other way, "holy shit marry me."

"Wh-what?!" Toriel blushed.

Papyrus burst out laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

_**I couldn't leave the story like I intended. The idea of Dadster was stuck in my mind and I wanted to write it...though it didn't go as planned...take this as the optional ending, since I'm 99% sure they're all OOC.**_

* * *

Sans glared at his brother over the dinner table. The night following Papyrus' discovery of Toriel they had a small dinner party with Undyne, Alphys and Mettaton invited. The occasion of the party? Sans and Papyrus' dad, Gaster, had made it out of the void with a little help from Alphys.

"What?" Papyrus asked innocently.

"What are you grinning about? What did you do?" Sans questioned. Normally he wouldn't mind Papyrus grinning, but considering the events that happened earlier that day, Sans felt the right to be suspicious of him.

"Nothing, I'm just happy our friends are here" Papyrus grinned wider.

"I KNOW you did something. Tell me." Sans demanded.

"You'll see" Papyrus smirked.

Sans was about to argue further when they suddenly heard the doorbell ring. They weren't expecting anyone else.

When Sans noticed that Papyrus was somehow grinning even wider he realized what his brother had done.

"You didn't."

"I did~" Papyrus chimed.

Sans jumped out of his chair and pushed past Undyne, who had originally offered to get the door. The action surprised everyone in the room -except Papyrus-.

"Knock knock" Sans heard Toriel call.

"Who's there?" Sans nervously called back, everyone at the table was watching him.

"Luck."

"Luck who?"

"Luck through the keyhole and you'll find out!"

Sans blushed and chuckled a bit before opening the door, "I hardly see that as necessary."

"I spent most of the afternoon trying to think of one" Toriel giggled.

"So...what have you got there?" Sans wondered.

"Oh!" Toriel seemed to forget about the basket she was carrying, "your brother asked if I could make a pie for your party after I told him about how I baked a lot."

"For one, how much did you two talk about while I was unconscious, and for two...did you make a separate one for me?" Sans asked hopefully, "lord knows how long I've been waiting to try one of your pies."

"Of course, what, you think I would forget about you?" Toriel giggled, leaning down and lightly kissing Sans' forehead.

Sans' audience covered their mouths in a fatal attempt to not laugh as they watched their entertainer's face burn blue.

"Do you mind if I come in?" Toriel asked politely.

"N-nope" Sans squeaked. Everyone watching fought even harder to muffle their laughter.

After Sans let Toriel in, he noticed that they had see the entire thing and let out an embarrassed squeak before pulling his hood over his face in an attempt to hide.

Out of a small gap in his hood, Sans saw his father waving him over. What did he want? Sans didn't know, but he needed a distraction.

"What is it dad?" Sans asked, trying to force himself to calm down.

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend" Gaster signed. Gaster was mute, he could only speak through sign language. Luckily both Sans and Papyrus knew it.

"She's not my girlfriend" Sans blushed furiously.

"Oh? But you were flirting" Gaster looked confused.

"N-no d-dad" Sans shook his head. He felt like a little kid again.

"He accidentally proposed to her earlier, then fainted, that's why he's so embarrassed" Papyrus explained. Loudly. Everyone heard. The laugher they'd thought they'd beaten came back with a vengeance, and this time they didn't hold it in.

"SERIOUSLY?!" Undyne howled.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry" Alphys stuttered as she giggled.

"I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT YOU'RE THE SHY TYPE!" Mettaton was hunched over from laughing so hard.

Sans and Toriel blushed.

"You're too cute, my boy" Gaster signed, finally managing to get a message across through his silent laughter.

"I really need to get my brain-to-mouth filter checked out" Sans muttered, remembering how he'd let so many secrets slip out because he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"Well" Toriel giggled, "if it's any consolation, I nearly said yes before you fainted."

"Y-you did?" Sans squeaked, not noticing that his friends and family had stopped laughing to watch them, in fact, he'd forgotten all about them.

"Oh yes" Toriel nodded, "and I'm both thankful and disappointed for the fact that you fainted."

"Disappointed?" Sans repeated, half-knowing what her reply would be.

"Uh-huh" Toriel nodded, "if it weren't for your sudden lack of consciousness, you'd be my fiancee right now."

"W-well should I ask again then?" Sans winked, blushing furiously.

"How can I say no?" Toriel giggled, glad that Sans seemed mentally prepared this time.

"GET A ROOM!" Undyne shouted, reminding the couple that people were watching.

"We'll see" Sans grinned at Toriel.

"FORGET WHAT I SAID ABOUT SANS BEING SHY! HE'S A SMOOTH LITTLE FUCKER! I BET HE PLANNED THE ENTIRE THING!" Mettaton accused.

"That's for me to know and you to never find out" Sans smirked at the group before taking Toriel's hand and teleporting away.

"..." nobody said anything. They were too shocked.

"Does Sans ever give a straight answer?" Gaster signed to Papyrus.


	3. The Real Chapter 3 (Part 1)

Sans grinned wider than he ever had as he walked to the entrance of the ruins. He'd planned his first date with Toriel. Sure it might be a little odd to have your first date AFTER you asked them to marry you, but maybe it was more fun this way.

"Knock knock" Sans called.

"Who's there?"

"To."

"To who?"

"To whom, come on Tori, I thought you wanted to be a teacher" Sans chuckled.

Toriel giggled and opened the gates, "I guess I have a lot to learn myself before I start passing the knowledge on."

Sans chuckled again, then noticed some movement from behind Toriel, "hmm?"

"Oh, sorry dear, I almost forgot about you" Toriel smiled apologetically and moved to the side so Sans could see the person behind her.

"Is that a...?" Sans blinked in surprise.

"Yes, they're a human" Toriel nodded, "I'm sorry, I know you were really excited to have this date, but I don't want to leave them alone...not when so many monsters want to kill them."

"It's fine, Tori" Sans smiled, "hey, maybe we can still go on that date, just with the kid tagging along."

"Oh that sounds wonderful!" Toriel gasped before turning and crouching down to be at the same level as the human, "my child, do you wish to join us?"

Sans noted that Toriel's entire manner of speaking changed when talking to kids.

The human paused for a moment before nodding.

"Alright then" Toriel clapped, standing up, "lets go!"

When the human started skipping ahead, Sans realized he didn't know anything about them or Toriel's plans for them.

"Hey, Tori, humans have genders, like us, right?"

"Yes of course" Toriel nodded.

"Well what gender is the kid?" Sans scratched his skull, confused.

"Both...or neither...I'm not sure which...but it's not very common among humans" Toriel explained.

"Alright, and what's their name?" Sans wondered.

"I don't know" Toriel shrugged.

"You don't...?"

"The child is mute. I'm still learning sign language so I'm not sure what they're saying when I ask" Toriel blushed, embarrassed about her lack of understanding.

"Ah, no problem" Sans waved off before raising his voice so the human skipping in front of them could hear, "hey, kid, come here for a second."

The human turned around and started hopping in their footprints on the way back. They became so absorbed into the little game that they didn't notice how close they'd gotten until they bumped into Sans and nearly fell over.

Sans chuckled and helped the kid steady themself before crouching down and making a series of hand gestures.

"Oh! I'd forgotten that you knew sign language!" Toriel clapped.

Sans smiled at her before turning to read the child's response.

"Frisk."

"Hmm?" Toriel had been focused on trying to figure out what she knew of sign language.

"They're name is Frisk" Sans told Toriel.

"That's a lovely name!" Toriel smiled approvingly.

Frisk grinned proudly before turning to go back to skipping ahead, but before they could even land their first jump, they found themself being pulled out of the air and lifted up high.

Toriel giggled when she saw that even with Frisk standing on Sans' shoulders, they weren't taller than her.

Frisk gasped when Sans started walking again, grabbing onto Sans' skull so they wouldn't fall.

"So do you plan to keep them?" Sans wondered.

"Well of course! What kind of responsible adult lets a child Frisk's age roam around the underground? It'd be dangerous!" Toriel gasped.

"So you're Frisk's mom then?" Sans blinked.

"If they wish me to be, then yes, I'd love to be a mother again" Toriel nodded, looking to Frisk in silent question. Frisk nodded. "Then that settles it! Frisk will be my adopted child!"

"Then I guess I'm their dad" Sans grinned, looking up at Frisk, "You cool with that, kid?"

Frisk nodded again, grinning too.

"This is wonderful!" Toriel cheered, "oh! We have to go tell your family! Come on Sans!"

Toriel grabbed Sans' hand and rushed forward. Sans used his powers to lift Frisk and sit them more firmly on his shoulders.

"Tori! Tori! Calm down!" Sans laughed as they neared the entrance to Snowdin.

"Oh, I'm sorry, this is just so wonderful!" Toriel smiled, slowing down.

"I know" Sans grinned, "but tone it down a notch, lets have that date first, huh?"

"Oh I nearly forgot about that!" Toriel gasped.

Sans chuckled and fixed Frisk on his shoulders, "well this is going to be a date to remember."

Toriel giggled and nodded.

"HELLO SANS! HELLO TORIEL!" A voice shouted.

This isn't a date anymore, is it? Sans deadpanned as Toriel greeted Papyrus in return.

"Who's this little one?" Papyrus wondered, gesturing to Frisk.

"Their name is Frisk" Toriel smiled, "they're my adopted child as of today."

"Oh! So does that mean that they're my brother's child as well?" Papyrus enquired.

"Yep" Sans nodded, then he felt something tapping his skull, "what's up?"

Sans had a little trouble reading Frisk's signs upside down, but Papyrus had no problems.

"Well of course I can read sign language! Sans! Are you not telling Frisk about our family?!" Papyrus exclaimed.

"I've barely known Frisk for an hour, bro, calm down" Sans chuckled, picking Frisk up and placing them on the ground so they could walk.

"Oh, right...IN THAT CASE! LET US INTRODUCE FRISK TO EVERYONE!" Papyrus exclaimed enthusiastically, forcing Sans to cover where his ears would be to block out the noise. By the time Sans had uncovered his 'ears', Papyrus and Toriel had picked Frisk up and dashed into town.

* * *

 _ **And there you go! The third chapter! I hope you enjoyed it, since chapter four is going to be following a similar theme! And by that I mean that it's a continuation of this chapter! Yaaaaaay!**_

 _ **Now it might look like I have myself together for this chapter, but I don't. I still need a f***ton of help. Send me your ideas for the next chapter, what do you think will happen? Anything helps.**_


	4. In Which I Try To Give Myself More Time

Sans squawked when he noticed that Papyrus was taking them back to their place. He planned to tell Gaster first.

Having his dad know about his relation to Frisk? Sure, no problem. Dealing with the teasing about 'early parenthood'? That could wait.

"H-hey, Tori...um..." Sans tried to look for a distraction. He just needed five minutes to mentally prepare himself.

"What is it, Sans?" Toriel asked, noticing Sans' expression and becoming worried.

"Uh...hey, Papyrus?" Sans called out to his brother.

"Yes, Sans?" Papyrus stopped jumping around with Frisk and looked at Sans.

"How about you show Frisk your puzzles around town first? There's some things we need to organize before we tell everyone" Sans was proud of his excuse.

"ALRIGHT! COME, HUMAN! I'LL SHOW YOU SOME OF MY BEST PUZZLES!" Papyrus told Frisk enthusiastically. Frisk seemed excited at the thought too.

"What's wrong?" Toriel asked when both Frisk and Papyrus were out of sight, leaving them alone.

Sans didn't answer. Instead, he fell forwards and went face first into the snow.

"SANS!" Toriel shrieked, worried.

"Sorry Tori" Sans sighed.

"Are you alright?" Toriel questioned.

"Yeah, I'm fine" Sans smiled.

"Are you sure?" Toriel hesitated.

"Calm down" Sans chuckled, not moving from his position in the snow, "I just need to prepare myself for pop's reaction to Frisk."

"Would he be mad at you?"

"No, if anything he'd be happy" Sans laughed, "he thought my personality was so lazy that he didn't expect me to get a girlfriend let alone a wife, and that he'd have to wait for Papyrus to mature before getting grandkids -not that I expect Papyrus to ever have kids-."

"What do you mean? Do you think that Papyrus wouldn't want any?" Toriel thought Papyrus would be the type to jump at the chance of being a father.

"Nope. I actually think he'd be more excited than his partner if it were possible. But it's not" Sans chuckled and smirked a little, "have you seen the way my little brother and Mettaton look at each other?"

"Papyrus and Mettaton?" Toriel blinked in surprise, "oh my, that's something I hadn't expected."

"Really? I thought it was obvious" Sans grinned, "fingers crossed they get together soon, I don't want to have to have a sexually frustrated Papyrus around for longer than necessary."

"Sans!" Toriel scolded, though it didn't have the effect that she wanted thanks to her giggling.

"They're going tibia interesting couple" Sans grinned wider at the pun oportunity.

"Are you sure you wont have a bone to pick with Mettaton when he steals your brother away?" Toriel giggled.

"Nah, that's Pap's job" Sans smirked. Toriel snorted at the slightly dirty joke.

"Alright, mr funny bone" Toriel smiled once they'd calmed down a little, "you ready?"

"Nope" Sans shook his head, rolling over and grinning as he held up his hand, signaling he 'needed' help up.

Toriel rolled her eyes and helped him up, "so where will your brother be?"

"This way" Sans said, looking in no particular direction as he grabbed her hand and teleported them.


End file.
